Terri Wingham is easily one of the most impressive people I have ever met. A cancer survivor, a lioness--both gentle and fierce, and a visionary, Terri's life mission has become to help people living with cancer, survivors and caregivers. I wrote about her non-profit, A Fresh Chapter , in a previous blog and had the pleasure of writing a blog for AFC's website about a woman I interviewed who'd taken part in one of non-profit's life-changing excursions. But Terri and I had

The Northeast has been brutalized by snow since the start of winter. Last weekend, it was our turn in the Midwest. It snowed here in Chicago, leaving us with an average of about 20 inches of wet, drifting snow. To be honest, I was kind of looking forward to it…since it was really our first of the season. And because my Chow Kallie loves to play in the snow. As we walked Sunday night, surrounded in all directions by white, I got lost…in another blizzard ; one I wrote about fo

It feels like I'm standing on the edge of a great precipice. And I've stood here before. As I mentioned in a previous blog , my pup Kallie Kismet is scheduled for knee surgery tomorrow. (Coincidentally, date happens to fall on what would have been Ken's and my fourth wedding anniversary--in Iowa). She'll be in the hospital overnight, and when she comes home the following day will need a lot of TLC as she heals and regains strength in her legs over what I'm told is an eight-w

I still check Ken's email. I'm not sure why. I just like knowing it's still there and active. And it's still something I monitor on his behalf should anything of substance ever arrive. It's one of the more mundane ways I honor him. I've long ago archived all the emails that he sent and received personally--or ones I sent on his behalf. Now I just check the inbox from time to time and delete the spam or long-ago-subscribed-to newsletters. One day last week I clicked on the lo

Ken has been sleeping more and more, and my keyboard clicks away he has been sleeping 15+ hours. My mother-in-law (Mama Jo) arrived on Thursday evening after a few conversations updating her and the rest of the family in California about the recent changes I've noticed in Ken's condition. It was a big relief for me to have her here. Not only have these changes necessitated more energy and greater patience than ever before, but aside from that, I wanted someone else's eyes on

A friend recently likened dealing with kenan's terminal cancer diagnosis to a staircase. Each change in his condition defines the "new normal". But before this new normal is accepted there is shock, denial, pain, and then acceptance until the next "step" comes and the process is repeated. I thought it was simple and brilliant. It really described my experience. Sometimes these steps occur without any warning. It's more like stumbling down a staircase on roller skates then wal

I took a walk the other day. It was the first walk of what might be called "spring"--were it to actually show up. Rather than taking the opportunity to run errands or accomplish anything, I was acting on the advice of my sage therapist who suggested taking time away each day--just for me. The house was full of family and friends--which was wonderful. But it was getting a little chaotic for me, and I was getting a little twitchy. I needed a ctrl+alt+delete moment, so I put on

I think the journey with my husband kenan's cancer has been the most important one I've ever embarked on. Though not about me directly, it certainly has impacted my life and how I view the world. I've danced around the subject in previous blog entries, but wasn't sure if--or how much--I wanted to write about it "for public consumption." But after his week-long stay in the hospital a few weeks ago, and learning the cancer had reached a point where nothing can be done except to