Last month marks two years since I said goodbye to my sweet puppy girl, Kallie . Our ten-and-a-half-year life together shaped a lot of who I am. As I wrote after her death, she boldly shepherded me from an old life that didn't fit anymore into the beginning of the one I have today. But, this anniversary wasn’t as challenging as the first one. Thanks, of course, to Hudson . His exuberant puppy energy has kept me fully occupied with the present as I learn to keep up with him. I

This caught my eye on my calendar the other day as I approach the one-year anniversary of the loss of my sweet puppy girl, Kallie. It caught my eye, and--surprisingly--made me smile because Kallie resembled both a bear and a lion. When we lived in the city, on walks, we’d sometimes pass “chain gangs” of little kids from a nearby daycare center (coincidentally named Black Bear--another smile) who would inevitably call her a lion or a bear or both--with wide eyes of wonderment

Getting a puppy is a big step. For anyone. Getting Kallie was an even bigger step for me. Because bringing her into my life was the first big step I took toward moving forward after Ken’s death. They say never make any big decisions until at least a year after losing someone you love. I lost Ken on June 1, 2011. Kallie made her debut in my life on June 18, 2012. At the time, I’d taken a leave of absence from work. I’d gone back to soon after Ken died, and I never had a chanc

There is no doubt how much I love living in Chicago; how much I love my home and my neighborhood. But when I have a little time off, there is something I love about going to my hometown to see my folks. I never viewed my tiny farming hometown as quaint until long after I left it for the bright lights of the big city. But it is. Growing up there in the 70s and 80s had its share of challenges for a non-sports-minded, tv-obsessed introvert, but what I think about the most is

There seems to be a point in the day by which everything is measured. Sometimes it's anticipation of a stressful meeting at work or excited anticipation of a special event. But those are the exceptions. A creature of habit--desired habit, needed habit--there is a baseline in my day which is essential, it seems, to maintain order, balance, sanity. It's the point in the day when I know I can relax, kick off my shoes (emotionally speaking), let my hair down (figuratively, of cou

During Kallie's recuperation, her physical freedom has to be limited to ensure she doesn't injure her newly post-op knees. Crating her is preferred, but my girl never appreciated being crated. The only time it worked was when I brought all 9 lbs. of her home from the breeder as she snuggled quietly in the crate in the backseat on the three-hour ride home, making only intermittent squeaks. After that, time spent in the crate was anything but quiet. Being 80% housebroken when I

My life lately--more than usual--is very dog-centric. Kallie had surgery on both knees on June 26 to alleviate stress on her tearing crutiate ligaments. It's a serious procedure, but one that my surgeon commonly performs on dogs. I think one of the most challenging parts is the recovery time: 10-12 weeks of low or little physical activity so as not to damage the healing knees. But the light at the end of the tunnel is pretty close to a 100% recovery. Though almost two weeks

It feels like I'm standing on the edge of a great precipice. And I've stood here before. As I mentioned in a previous blog , my pup Kallie Kismet is scheduled for knee surgery tomorrow. (Coincidentally, date happens to fall on what would have been Ken's and my fourth wedding anniversary--in Iowa). She'll be in the hospital overnight, and when she comes home the following day will need a lot of TLC as she heals and regains strength in her legs over what I'm told is an eight-w

A late birthday gift--of sorts--last year, I brought Kalpurnia "Kallie" Kismet Derson Stempkowski home one year ago today. She changed everything, and I can hardly remember (except for blog posts and journal entries) what I did or how I lived in the year between Ken's death and Kallie's arrival. To say she was a "game changer" for me would be a gross understatement. I'd had an entire year to be in my own head, and learn to live my daily life without Ken (physically, at least